In the beginning, when Charley and I talked about our future together, we always knew that we would have kids of our own. As you know (or maybe you don’t), Charley has two kiddos from his previous marriage – Caleb,12, and Kyleigh, almost 9. So, I was a step-mom before becoming a bio mom. Which was great in a lot of ways. It kind of eased me into this whole motherhood thing ;)
When we got pregnant with Luca, I was thrilled. Charley was thrilled. Both of our families were thrilled. Caleb and Kyleigh were beyond thrilled! But there were things I worried about that most first-time moms usually don’t. Obviously this was my first child, and Charley’s third. I wondered if it seemed less special to him, or if his excitement level was much less than mine. I was worried that I would get agitated if he knew just what to do when the baby came, because he had done this twice before. I wanted us to be figuring things out together.
I also worried about my kid’s relationships with Caleb and Kyleigh. Would they focus on the fact that they are half-brothers and half-sisters and not be as close? Would they not have a great relationship because they only get to see each other half of the time? Of course I also worried about what all second and third-time moms worry about – will the older kids feel jealous when the new baby comes home?
Turns out, I was crazy to worry about ANY of that stuff. A few months into my pregnancy, I sat down with Charley and told him all of my fears regarding his feelings towards this pregnancy, the childbirth, raising a baby together. I was very quickly assured that even though he did have two children already, that in no way takes away from how excited he was about our little guy on the way. And this was OUR first child together, which made this very different and special in it’s own way. He was wonderful, and so, so right.
The day that Luca was born was one of the best days of my life. Charley was the perfect husband that day. Seriously. My labor and delivery were very, very rough, and ended in an emergency C-section. But that is a story for another day. Charley didn’t leave my side once, and kept me calm through it all. When Luca came into the world, Charley was the epitome of proud Daddy. He cried when he held him for the first time, and took about a million pictures.
I also should never have worried about Charley knowing exactly what to do with a newborn baby, and me not having a clue. We both were clueless! Turns out (duh), every baby is different and will always keep you guessing, no matter how many you have.
As for my concerns about the relationship between Caleb and Kyleigh and my little guys? Those were my craziest worries of all. We have never even used the term “half-brother” or “half-sister,” and we never will. The fact that they see each other only half of the time is hard, but only because they miss each other so much when they are away. That just makes their reunions that much sweeter. And I can honestly say, there has never been a shred of jealousy. Caleb is the most protective older brother and would do anything for his younger siblings. And Kyleigh is pure little mama. She’s my right-hand girl, and will help with everything, from baths to diaper changes. Both Luca and Enzo worship the ground those two walk on.
I am so very blessed as a wife, mama, and step-mama. Although, there are ups and downs in this type of situation, I truly wouldn’t change anything.
I would love to hear from other mamas and step-mamas out there who can relate to all of this! What are your stories?