We knew before you were even born, that you would be our last. You’re number five. And you’re my third little boy. You officially made me a mom of boys. And I love that title much more than I ever thought I would.
Since I knew this pregnancy was my last, I made sure to savor every last second of it. You grew for 39 weeks and 2 days in my belly. My longest pregnancy yet. I think God knew we both needed the extra time. I took soooo many pictures of my growing belly, from beginning to end. I documented what I ate, how I felt, everything. Your brothers and sister talked to you and read you stories too. And they gave my belly lots of kisses. I loved being pregnant with you sweet boy.
I tried not to be sad, knowing this was the last time I would ever feel those little kicks. The last time I would hear my baby’s heartbeat or see your little profile on the ultrasound screen. But it was hard. I love being pregnant. I love how Daddy, with each of you boys, would push my belly button in, pretending it was an intercom, and talk to you. I love the little parties that our family and friends threw for us, celebrating you. I love being able to eat lots of donuts and tacos without question. (Those were my biggest cravings with you, little man)! Most of all, I love knowing that I was growing a healthy little boy, the perfect addition to our family.
We were scheduled for your C Section on December 6th, and that morning, as we were getting ready to head out the door for the hospital, my water broke. So that was your day, little man! Your labor and delivery was calm, like you are showing to be. No surprises, no complications. And you nursed like a champ from the very beginning. You just let Mommy and Daddy relax and soak you in. It was perfect. Just like you.
I have a not-so-secret wish that you will be a mama’s boy. Very early on, you started turning your head towards my voice. Now you smile immediately when you see me. You stare into my eyes and coo so sweetly. I have been making a very conscious effort to memorize these sounds. Our late-night feedings are so special to me. I hold you close and nurse you, rubbing your back, stroking your cheeks, kissing your sweet head. I am soaking it all in. This time with my last baby.
We have so many firsts ahead of us. Rolling over, first words, crawling, first steps. If you notice a little sadness in me when these events happen, don’t worry. I am so, so happy, my baby. But you see, these will be the last firsts. So it is a little bittersweet for Mommy. But please know the love and pride that I have for you, sweet boy. And I can’t wait to experience all of these firsts with you.
I want you to know, Sonny, that you are everything I dreamed of, and more. You are what Mommy and Daddy prayed for. You are the perfect addition to our family. You complete us.